Clomid Day 1

Well, today is the day! After my shower this morning, I sat down to completely read the info sheet that came with my 5 precious Clomid pills. Yes, I read the info sheet. You should always read the instructions before you begin anything. After reading all the crazy side effects I swallowed down pill #1. I did not immediately turn into a Clomid Crazy. I did not immediately begin having hot flashes. I have not yet had any strange urges to vomit. Nor have I had any swelling or shortness of breath. So I'm good, right? Actually, I was kind of let down after taking my pill. I'm not sure what I expected. Maybe to feel the egg growing in my ovary...some sort of sign that the medicine is working. But nothing. However, I have heard/read that Clomid takes awhile to build up in your system and that some effects can take place after you have finished your 5 day round. Maybe I'm just saving up and will be the worse Clomid Crazy ever. Unfortunately, I will be back at work and my co-workers will have to deal with me. Oh well, too bad for them!

T minus 1 day and counting!

Tomorrow is Clomid day! LoL. I've been building this up in my head, so I hope it's not a big diappointment when this cycle is over and I'm still not pregnant. At any rate, it's given me something to look forward to! The days after Christmas are always kind of sad to me. You build it up, and get ready, and decorate, and cook, and prepare, and buy presents, and wrap presents for so long and then BAM, it's over, and all you have is just a big mess to clean up. And then you have to go back to work. But we won't talk about that today.

Actually, I have a lot of things to look forward to in the next few months. This cycle will hopefully be a little different and more eventful than the rest. (Please let the Clomid work!) Then February is a big month for us. It will be our 1st wedding anniversary! WOW. Where has the time gone? And then will be my 35th birthday. Again, WOW, where has the time gone? I'm old! And then in March is Spring Break. We have tickets to go to the NCAA first round regionals in Shreveport, so I'm really excited about that! Plus, hopefully we'll begin planning our annual family vacation soon, so that will be another thing to look forward to. I'm ready for you, 2011!!!

Never thought I'd say this...

But hello CD1. And welcome!

I had a great Christmas with my family. I always enjoy our time together, and it's fun to watch everyone open gifts. I bought my sweet hubby a Play Station 3 (he's been wanting it soo bad, but didn't want to spend the $$$) and I've gotten a kick out of watching him play. He's like a kid. He was mad at me for spending so much money on him instead of using it for something else. Whatever. He got me a camera AND an iPod touch so he spent just as much (if not more) than I did. It's not like we have kids to spend money on. We help my mom with Alec's "Santa" stuff, but still, why not spend it on each other while we have that luxury? Hopefully next year there will be someone else to buy for.

Which brings me back to CD1. My temp plummeted yesterday morning, so I just knew that sweet Aunt Flow was going to crash our Christmas celebration, but she was kind enough to wait until today. I've had horrendous cramps all day. Didn't go to church this morning just because I couldn't bear to put on real clothes. I haven't gotten out of my PJs all day. I did take a shower this morning and put on clean PJs, but PJs none the less.

That means I get to finally start my Clomid!!!!!! I'm so excited!!!! I've heard so many horror stories of side effects and so many people who say that Clomid did nothing for them, but I'm hoping that it's my friend. This will be my first ever cycle on Clomid, so doc is starting me out at 50mg on days 5-9. I've read that if you take it on 3-7 it gives you more eggs but if you do 5-9 it gives you better quality eggs. I certainly would not be opposed to twins...in fact, I've always wanted twins, but if I can get one good egg, one complete 9 months, and one healthy, perfect baby I will be more than happy.

So, while I'm disappointed that AF is here again, at least I know that I have a plan. I'm glad to be past that horrible 37 day miscarriage cycle. I hope that I never have to experience that again. Especially not over the holiday season.

Here's to new cycles, new years, and fresh starts.

5 minutes

Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.

There's not much of anything in 2010 that I want to forget. It's been an evenful year, and I treasure all my memories of it. We started out the year with a wedding. Here are the things I most want to remember about our wedding:
the snow in Hot Spring the day we got married
our sweet, simple ceremony
our stay at the bed & breakfast

Then a few weeks later we had our reception:
beautiful decorations done by my sweet cousin Megan
wonderful food
having both of our family together for a huge celebration

And then our honeymoon:
the sound of the tropical birds singing the first morning we woke up in paradise
the wonderful food at the resort
the beautiful beach and ocean
riding a horse bareback in the ocean
having a whole week with just my hubby

And then began our journey to conceive our first child:
the whole process of getting the seman sample to the hospital
all the "tricks" for getting preggo (yes, I have had my legs in the air for up to 20 minutes after doing the deed)
peeing on all the OPKs and HPTs
the excitement of actually seeing a "pregnant" digi
the reactions from our parents when we told them the news

Even though the pregnancy was short lived, it was still happy memories. I can't wait to have those experiences again in the coming year. And hopefully, we experience some uncharted territory (at least for us) with a successful pregnancy!!!

Appreciate

Appreciate. What's the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?

I have come to appreciate what a wonderful man my husband is over the past year. Actually, he hasn't even been my husband for a whole year. :-) But it's getting close. He's a hardworking man, although sometimes, I wish he didn't work so hard. Between his real job, his lawn care business, and his referreeing sometimes I don't see him very much. But there are way worse things he could be doing when he's not with me, so I have absolutely no reason to complain. Plus, he's earning money when he's doing all these things.

I've also come to appreciate what a good dishwasher, sweeper, & mopper he is. :-) I haven't had to do any of these things since we moved in to our house. Now if I could just get him to get the dirty sock & undies into the hamper instead of on the bathroom floor.

My husband has a very big heart and I appreciate this too. Although his heart has contributed to the fact that we have 5 dogs. He needs to stay away from the shelter.

He's not a lazy man. And he tries to do what is right. He's a good Christian man. I thank God every day for blessing me with my dear hubby.

I hope he knows how much he is appreciated and loved. I tell him him often, but I know that actions speak louder than words. I do my best to be a good wife. I'm not always successful. Sometimes, he has no clean socks (maybe because they are on the bathroom floor instead of the dirty clothes?), dinner isn't always cooked when he gets home (and if it is, it doesn't always consist of a "balanced" meal), and sometimes I nag. (mostly about the socks on the floor)

But really, if all I have to nag about is socks on the bathroom floor, I have it pretty good.

Where, oh where, are you Aunt Flow?

Still no AF here. Grrr. This past Saturday would've been AF time if this had been a "normal" cycle. FF gives me two different possible O dates. If I go by the first one, AF should be here today and I am now 14DPO. If I go by the second one, AF should come next Tues and I am only 8DPO. Either way, I'm itching to POAS, but I have nothing here to pee on! LoL! Well, I have digis, but I'm not ready for those yet. Those are for special occasions. You know, like pink lines on other tests.

I am trying to fight the urge to run to $tree. Wonder how long I can resist?

Thought AF was here.

If this were a "normal" cycle, AF would have been schedule to arrive today. She didn't show. Yesterday I got really excited because after my walk, I went to the bathroom and had a little spotting. I just knew that she was here, so I put on a pad and went about my business. I did find it strange that I never had any cramps. I always have cramps. When I went to bed last night, the pad was clean and I was still cramp free. Today, still no sign of AF. There has been some question about when exactly I ovulated (if I did) so I'm really not sure where I am in my cycle. According to FF software, I could either be 11DPO which would mean that yesterday could possibly have been implantation spotting. Or I could be 5DPO which would mean that the spotting yesterday was just crazy spotting. So again I wait.

And as I wait I wonder if God likes to toy with us sometimes. I was thinking about this earlier when I was joking with my 11 year nephew about getting him a baby doll for Christmas. I was so convincing and he just kept protesting. I knew all along that I wasn't getting him a baby doll for Christmas. I'm getting him exactly what he told me he wanted. But kidding with him about it is good natured fun.

My parents used to do that same thing when I was little. There was always that ONE thing that I always wanted for Christmas. I would be happy if I could get that one thing. And my parents would warn me that they didn't have the money for that thing. They didn't want me to be diappointed when I woke up Christmas morning and didn't have that ONE thing that I was so set on wanting. They tried to suggest other things, cheaper things, that maybe would make me happy instead. And all along they were planning and working to make sure that I got that ONE thing.

So maybe God is like that. He's teasing me a little. He knows how bad I want that ONE thing. He knows that eventually I'm going to get that ONE thing but He's making me sweat it a little. And that's okay. When you try to get your mind ready to not be disappointed and feel that there's no way that it will happen, when it does, it's that much more exciting. And that much more of a moment to treasure. So I'm just waiting on my moment.