4 weeks

I'm excited to have made it this far!!! And I hope I have many, many more weeks ahead. We are still not telling anyone in real life. My first OB appointment is May 26th. Hopefully we can do an u/s and then have pictures as visual aids when we do tell. Doc is keeping me on the progesterone. She says it can't hurt. I know that it may have absolutely nothing to do with anything, but in my mind it is what's making everything okay, so I appreciate them indulging me.

I'm going to steal the format for my weekly updates from Mrs. D. simply because I like it. :-) I've been following her story and have enjoyed reading her updates hoping that I may some day be able to follow in her shoes. Thanks for all the encouragement Mrs. D.!

Best Moment of the Week: Seeing that precious word "Pregnant" on the digital test! And knowing that these lines are so much prettier than the ones I had with my last pregnancy.

Entertaining Question/Comment of the Week: None yet since really no one knows. However, I did find it highly entertaining that my husband evidently feels that pushing a buggy around Walmart is too strenuous for a newly pregnant person. He almost fought me in the store when I tried to push. LoL!

Obsession: The 13 positive tests on the bathroom cabinet. I look at them everytime I go into the bathroom just to convince myself that it is real. I also pee on a test every morning just to verify that the line is still there and is still dark.

What I am Most Looking Forward To This Week: Making it to 5 weeks. And I know this is going to sound crazy, but I'm looking forward to more symptoms. I never really had any with my other pregnancy and look how that turned out. Some symptoms might help to convince me that everything is okay.

What I Miss The Most: My afternoon cup of coffee. I have read in many places that caffeine can be blamed for some miscarriages. I definitely do not want to do anything that might possibly cause me to miscarry again, so I will have 1 cup of coffee in the morning and NO MORE!

Symptoms: I do have some symptoms. I am extremely tired. I went to bed last night in the midst of all the tornados and storms. I'm am usually glued to the numerous weather radars and websites watching the storms because I am so fascinated by them. I have had a little wave of nausea here and there. Yesterday when a co-worker was eating an orange the smell of it almost sent me over the edge, and then again this morning before breakfast, but once I got something in my stomach it was okay. I'm not really a big fan of throwing up, so it will be okay if that's NOT one of the symptoms. :-)

It's starting to sink in

Now that the initial shock has worn off and our happy Easter news is starting to sink in, I'm a little nervous. For several reasons.

1. It is so freakin early! This could just be a chemical and I could start my period at any time.
2. We really don't know what caused my miscarriage last time. I am on progesterone supplements, but what if it was genetic?

If you read my blog and know me in real life, please keep our secret. So far only DH and a few choice friends know the news. We haven't even told our families and probably won't for awhile. For several reasons.

1. It is so freakin early!
2. We really don't know what caused my miscarriage last time.

I only made it to 5w3d last time. I imagine my OB won't even see me until at least 8 or 9 weeks. That is still so long away. I called the RE this morning, but they were closed for Good Friday. He mentioned wanting to do some tests (not sure what) if we got a positive, so I guess I will wait to hear from him on Monday. There's nothing really to do to sustain the pregnancy other than progesterone which I am already doing, so if it isn't going to last, there is nothing I can do about it.

I am extremely paranoid considering what I went through last time, but I have decided that I am going to try to relax and enjoy every minute that I get to be pregnant. Whether that is 1 day, 5 weeks, or an entire 9 months. I hate that a m/c can take so much of the joy out of any pregnancies that may follow. I told DH and he didn't seem very excited. When I told him that his response was, "Well, I got excited last time and ended up even more disappointed." I can certainly understand where he is coming from.

So any prayers from any of you would be greatly appreciated!

and the Easter bunny came early!

This is what he brought:

Hoping for an Easter egg!

Sunday I will be 12dpo.  I'm hoping to see two pretty pink lines.  I feel pregnant.  I'm wiped out by 5pm.  Can hardly keep my eyes open.  My back is killing me.  Have not slept good the past 3 nights.  These, of course, are not only pregnancy symtoms, but also symptoms/side effects from the Prometrium (which by the way was not as bad as I thought!)  I would love to see a positive test, but at least I know that if I see a negative I will at least have the assistance of the RE on the next cycle!

This is the longest cycle ever!

I am ready to 1) be pregant or 2)know I'm not pregnant and move on the the RE's plan.  Obviously choice #1 is my favorite of those two, but knowing how my luck works it isn't the most likely.  I *think* that I might have ovulated.  I had pos opks for the past 2 days and felt some minor ovulation pain night before last.  I really thought that my temp would jump up this morning, but no such luck.  Hoping to see that jump tomorrow. 

I went to the pharmacy yesterday and picked up my Prometrium prescription.  Did I mention that they are suppositories?  That ought to be interesting.  I'm to take them at night.  Supposedly it's less messy.  Hopefully they won't make me sick and they will get my progesterone numbers where they should be since I'm not doing Clomid this cycle.

After 14 days of Prometrium, I test.  If positive we all sing and dance and say Hallelujah.  If not, we fuss and stomp and cry and call the RE to set up CD3 testing for both me and Matthew.  I sure would enjoy a good song and dance.  :-)

and the RE says.....

Wow. What an overwhelming day. We left around 8am and got back home around 7pm. I got to do lots of shopping and lots of eating and had a great time with DH. But man, our visit with the RE left us both with wide eyes and spinning brains. I loved the RE. He's from Guatemala and has an acccent so you have to really concentrate on what he says. He had an emergency surgery, so he was late to our appt and apologized profusely for keeping us waiting (only about 30 minutes) on our first visit. He went over all the records from my gyn and previous tests as well as my FF charts. He told us in detail how IUIs and IVF works and in what situation he would want to use them. He told us we had excellent insurance but that we have $15,000 lifetime for infertility and we want to make sure that we use that in the best way we can.

He wants to do another SA for DH because for diabetics morphology is a concern an his last SA didn't measure that. He did an ultrasound of my uterus to measure it. Said it's normal and my lining was thin but prob due to being at the beginning of my cycle. Then he did a vaginal ultrasound to look at my ovaries. In my left ovary I had 5-6 follies with one looking really nice. Then he poked and prodded and dug around but couldn't find my right ovary. I was extremely alarmed, but he didn't seem concerned. He said that if my bladder had been a little more full he might have seen it easier or that sometimes ovaries are sitting up high????? Anyway, then we went back to his office and he gave us our options

1. come back tomorrow for an HSG and schedule another SA to measure mophology then move forward with timed intercourse for this cycle and start with CD3 baseline and IUI for next cycle.

2. continue this cycle as is and start fresh with CD3 b/w, HSG, SA and IUI next cycle if we don't get a BFP. He gave me a Rx for prometrium to take during the 2ww so that prog will be where it needs to be

We chose #2 because I couldn't go back tomorrow.  Plus, he says that the 1st month off clomid is notorius for BFP and maybe we will get it by ourselves without having to go through more testing.

All in all I feel good with what we discussed. I wish I could have done the HSG today.  He said that if he hadnt been running late, he could have gotten me in. I'm very concerned about the lack of finding my right ovary. He told me that he could tell I was upset about it but not to worry because it could just be because my bladder was empty. He said we'll look again next time. Wow. What a lot of info! Gotta let it all process for awhile.

Tomorrow is the day!

I'm so excited about my appointment tomorrow.  I've got the new patient packet (all 11 pages-front and back) filled out in a folder with all my insurance info, all my charts, and a list of questions I want to ask.  When they called to confirm my appt, the lady said she had checked my insurance benefits and wanted to let me know that I would be responsible for the 20% that insurance didn't pay.  WOO HOO!  I was so afraid I would be responsible for 100% that insurance didn't  pay.  Yay for insurance!  That took a huge load off of my shoulders. 

One of the questions in the new patient packet is:  What do you expect to gain from this visit?  Hmm.  A baby????  Yes, in the end, but probably not in this visit.  So how about, uhm, I don't know, A PLAN!  Yes, a plan would be great!  Preferably a plan that does NOT include Clomid.  I'm mad at dear Clo Clo and need a break from her. 

I probably won't be able to sleep tonight due to excitement and nervousness.  Prayers for me please.