Saturday, December 4, 2010

Wonder

Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?
Hmm...I don't know that I have cultivated a sense of wonder in my life using the meaning that I'm sure the prompt writer had in mind. The only sense of wonder that I've had in my life this year has been in the five 2 week waits wondering if I would be pregnant this cycle. Then when I got my BFP a million wonderings of what would our baby look like, what kind of changes would this mean in our life, what kind of personality will the baby have, when will I start to show, wonder if I'll get morning sickness. Then 2 weeks ago today as I started bleeding, more wondering. I wonder if this is bad? I wonder if I am miscarrying? I wonder if I am still pregnant. Then confirmation. Yes, I'm miscarrying. Which leads to more wondering. I wonder if this will be a cycle of "normal" length? I wonder if I will ovulatate? I wonder if I will get another BFP soon or have to wait another 6 months. So, I guess I have cultivated many wonderings in my life this year!! Hopefully soon we will be back to wondering what will our baby look like and what kind of personality will it have. I wonder if this is the cycle.

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